I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
