do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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