Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
