How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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