maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize