john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize