You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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