why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
