She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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