Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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