Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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