Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
