im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
