Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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