Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize
