oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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