Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm having to shit out rocks
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