FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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