They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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