FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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