Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
