Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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