just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm both gender and math confused
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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