...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
