I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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