The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My bed smells like the plague
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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