It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize