She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
