just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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