do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
