Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
