Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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