Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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