I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
