I am puke
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
