These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
