ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
