Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
