I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
