No more Irish car bombs ever.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
