Me too!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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