dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize