found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
