I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
BRING THE BAGELS
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
