i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize