i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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