make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
