Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The uberlube is also flammable
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize