Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
