we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize