Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
