remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
