I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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