Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
