So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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